Myths About Love

(SOME OF THE THINGS PEOPLE TEND TO BELIEVE ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE)

 Let’s try to name and debunk the famous legend and mythos about the infamous LOVE.

1. HE COMPLETES ME.

You don’t need anyone to complete you or make you feel complete.

Don’t believe in “someone-will-come-to-complete-the-puzzle-piece-of-your-life” BS because that is one of the greatest lie the world has made us believe.

As what Hammond said, “True love is when the love in your heart is over pouring, that you want to share it with others.” Of course it would be on another leave as the love you share with your friends and family. It entails COMMITMENT, and INTIMACY. And when I say INTIMACY, it doesn’t just necessarily means PHYSICAL but EMOTIONAL and SPIRITUAL as well. Basically, Hammond is trying to tell us that for us to give love to someone, we must be filled with love first. Remember the adage that says, “YOU CANNOT GIVE SOMETHING YOU DO NOT HAVE”? That is what she is trying to tell us.

Women are too drawn with what the best-selling books and blockbuster movies are telling and showing us that we forgot to realize that WE ARE ALREADY AWARE OF THE TRUTH. We just decided to believe, consciously or maybe unconsciously, the LIES our society has been feeding us.
My dear beautiful woman, you don’t need anyone to complete you. Even before “THE ONE” came knocking at your doorstep, you should have been complete already—should have been a WHOLE BEING.
You’ve had how many years to fulfil all your dreams, making them to reality; get to know yourself and make yourself WHOLE, so you cannot make that as an EXCUSE of hqving any void in your life.

If all your life you feel empty and had been waiting for someone to fill that emptiness, you will never get it even if a lot of “Princes” walk past your way. The one person you have been waiting WILL NEVER COMPLETE YOU, he will COMPLEMENT YOU.(Hammond)

2. IF I HAVE SEX WITH HIM, HE WILL LOVE ME.

This is one of the most utterly disgusting lie I have ever heard! 

Sex will never, ever make a man stay in your life. It’s what our society tells us but sex will never cement any relationship.

If the foundation of a relationship is sex, even just a twinge of struggles and trials, it will definitely crumble. 

You may make him stay for 5, 10 years because you are sexually compatible but that would eventually wear off. 

I’ve read somewhere that ‘ THE WORLD CALLS IT AS MAKING LOVE” but the truth is, IF THE LOVE ISN’T THERE WHEN YOU’RE CLOTHES ARE ON, YOU CERTAINLY CAN’T CREATE IT EVEN THOUGH YOU THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.

3. IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!

This is certainly one of the oldest myths I’ve ever heard, read and even watch on dramas and movies.

Remember that love is something that BINDS AND CONNECTS PEOPLE EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY and even SPIRITUALLY.

How can you do that the moment you just set your eyes on that person? 

You may be attracted to him but that will never be counted as love—lust or attraction may be.
Love is such a strong, powerful word to use when you are attracted to someone. You will be needing to spend time with him, get to know him to consider it as love but please..please.. PUH-LEEZE! Don’t discount love as lust or even attraction as it is already the most abused word in the planet.
4. JEALOUSY AS A SIGN OF LOVE.

Oh come on! When you get jealous, it shows how LITTLE YOUR TRUST to your partner is! If you really love someone, you just don’t give him or her love but also UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE and most of all TRUST.

Always remember that YOU CANNOT TRUST SOMEONE YOU DON’T LOVE  (or even LIKE) but YOU CAN ALWAYS LOVE SOMEONE YOU TRUST.

TRUST is a sign, a symbol of how you love that person. Don’t sugarcoat possessiveness as love since that is two completely different and opposing things.

It may be okay to feel just a twinge of jealousy from time to time but make sure that you are not being overly IRRATIONAL.
TRUST is one of the main foundations of love so if you really love him or her, give him even the benefit of the doubt.
5.EVERY MAN HAS TO EXPERIENCE THE “CHEATING STAGE”

A lot of women nowadays believed this lie. Take note I said LIE or MYTH, URBAN LEGEND or whatever synonymous word I can use.

What kind of reasoning is that? Come on, If you really love a person, there is no reason for you to jump from one bed to another!

Our society has taught us, moulded our minds that men are polygamous by nature and that they should experience screwing around. But the TRUTH is, if HE CAN’T KEEP HIS DICK UNDER HIS PANTS WHEN HE IS STILL YOUR BOYFRIEND, I bet he can’t definitely and most certainly do that WHEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE MARRIED.

When he ‘plays around’ that shows how LITTLE HIS RESPECT for you not just as his girlfriend but also as a WOMAN. 

I Will Never Understand…

I was scanning my Facebook news feed when I read a shared post of my FB friend coming from a public group called, #NeverAgain: No to Dictators, to Martial Law, to a Marcos..”

I got curious and open the group’s page and I was completely astounded.

The group’s description is, “A group for concerned Philippine netizens alarmed at the wave of misinformed pro-Marcos posts on social media and want to do something about it. YEP that is this group’s reason for existence. The Marcos era was a DYSTOPIAN NIGHTMARE and don’t ever want to relieve that.”

However, what appalled me most are the posts they have been sharing and discussing which is almost, if not all, were more of an attack to the current administration. And mind you, those were not just posts but mostly are incorrigibly outrageous and deceitful.

Clearly, they are against the current administration as I was reading and scanning their posts but I wonder what it’s got to do with their so-called ‘group description’.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not limiting their topics and issues they want to discuss but I can’t help but to ask myself: ‘Is this group using the so-called “Marcos issue” just to gain sympathy from the public, knowing that there are still a lot of aggrieved party in existence?

Honestly, I can’t say that I empathize to the people who have been a victim of the Marshall Law since I was not yet even conceived at that time. I also don’t have any relative or friends who have been killed, tortured and up to now, missing. However, I can definitely say, I sympathize for those aggrieved party, based on the books I’ve read, teachings and rants of my professors and even stories from the elderly. I mean, it must have been really hard for those people and I understand where the anti-Marcos are coming from.

I understand their cries of #NeverAgain but I will never understand why this issue is becoming a hindrance to our nation, which has a huge potential, to progress.

I will never understand why while the government is busy working for what really matters to the country (granting Yolanda housings to the victims of the typhoon many years ago, building infrastructure to resolve the traffic fiasco in Metropolis, reprimanding and apprehending drug addicts, pusher and even drug lords, just to name a few), the anti’s are also busy preparing for their so-called rally on November 30.

The issue comes in when they call this rally a ‘post-Marcos Burial rage” (according to Rappler) and yet (I bet my life on it) that they would, as what they call it in vernacular, “gagawing pulutan ang administrasyong duterte” during the event.

Furthermore, I will never understand why these people have to always remind us of the horror of that tragic past.
We have a bright future ahead of us and yet they kept on looking back, not just to take a glimpse but to let the pain and agony eat them wholly and reminisce it religiously.
Pardon me, if I would offend some people, but let’s be honest here.
What happened in the past can never be changed; it will forever be embedded in every history books and even to the memories of the Filipinos. It will always be a REMINDER that we should never make the same mistakes again.

Why can’t we look ahead of us? Why can’t we give this administration a chance? This administration is doing their very best to do something for our country but does anybody of these guys see, even notice it? Why do these guys kept on relating Marcos and Duterte; Duterte and dictatorship?
They kept whining and ranting like any spoiled-brats who have not been given what they wanted. And I can’t help myself from comparing them to the teachers from the British movie “Ahead of the Class”. These people have been used to the status quo that when CHANGE HAS COME, which is mind you for the BETTERMENT of everybody, they resists and rebels.
I have nothing against these people, since they are still my countrymen. I just hope that instead of planning to oust this government and administration through connecting the latter to Marcos and Marshall Law era, they would do and say something that is worth every Filipinos time. Something that would unify every Filipinos instead of dividing them; something that would make us be proud of who we are and what race we came from.

As a conclusion, I am not shouting #MoveOn and #ForgetAboutThePast,¬ I just hope that we’d be able to know and see what really matters NOW. Not just for us but to the next generation who are looking at us now.

Let’s always remember what Willie Jolley said: “The PAST is a place of REFERENCE, not a place of RESIDENCE.”

Thoughts of a Fan Girl

Thoughts of a Fan Girl

It was a rainy day in Manila, Philippines but it never stopped the more than 200 hundred fans of KAye Jade Cal in seeing her up close at her bar gig in 19 East Bar in Sucat.

Kaye Jade Cal a.k.a Kaye Cal is known as the Voice of Soul in the Philippines and is the voice behind the famous songs ‘Walang Iba’, ISang Araw, and Nyebe. The former as performed years back when she was still part of Ezra band who became famous after bagging 1st runner-up last 2010.

She did a lot of covers for the past years but I hope that Star Music would give her, her own album. She definitely deserve it!

I have been a silent fan ever since time immemorial—when I saw her at the Pilipinas Got talent auditions last 2010. I was just not given the chance to become a die-hard fan since I got this discernment that I will never have the chance of meeting her since it would be a one in a million chance of her going to Agusan del Sur. Never did I thought that one of my wildest dreams would come to a reality—on a black pants and shirt with a blue jacket!

She is definitely not a talker since she doesn’t usually do some adlibs but she is definitely mind-boggling. I can’t help myself from drooling while watching her perform with ease and her usual suave moves.

I can’t even comprehend how she was able to win even the hearts of straight male fans from the crowd—I just noticed the bi, straight female and male eye-fucking her not to mention shouting her name.

I certainly adore her not just for her soulful voice but her melodious giggle too. If I could just be given a chance to meet her parents and thank them for raising such a humble and kind-hearted person as Kaye is I’d love to if my life depended on it.

I also admire how honest she was when she admitted to an interview to Yes! Magazine years back that she is a lesbian but that she don’t want to engage in same-sex relationship.(Though I’m not pretty sure if through the years she never had one, though.)

If my life just depended on it, I’d give anything to see and interview her. I would love to know her deepest thoughts and emotions aside from the one that her fans sees and wants to believe. Siya ang klase ng tao na parang ang sarap arukin ng totoong nararamdaman sa likod ng mga mata niyang nakangiti at nakatawa.

Going back to her August 13, 2016 show at 19 East bar,I got the chance to sit in front though not so close to the stage but it did got me the chance to be my usual silent yet observant self.

I have been to Kaye Cal’s stint during the mall tour of HImig Handog 2016 at The District in Cavite, MOR gig at Tiendesitas, Pasig; MOR OPM Awards at Kia Theatre but it was the first time I got to see her on a full hour show. As usual there were a lot of shouting and screaming from the fans of how they love Kaye and how gorgeous she is but I can’t help myself from asking.

How come she never said ‘I love you’ back to her fans—though it’s not even once did I notice that. And given the fact that the usual artists would do so. She would just smile and like applaud and thank her fans but she would never profess her love for them.

At the end of her show, while looking intently at Kaye realization dawn on me.

The people around her never knew her in the deepest level, how could she believe them that they love her? Maybe us, fans, adore and idolize her but love is too much of a word to use and she may be aware of that.

I have learned to empathize for her since I have the same roots as her. Growing up from a Christian, conservative family is really difficult. Most of her fans never knew that since they were not as grounded as her. Pardon me, for being blunt but I don’t have anything against her fans since I myself is a fan too—a gregarious one for that matter.

And just a shout out to some of her fans/basher who were not given the chance to have a picture of her: Since I am not so into mingling with other people, I got the chance to overheard some who were busy criticizing and bashing her and how the show was handled. I can’t help the green-eyed monster inside of me to give a shout out to them. I just want to tell those people that Kaye isn’t as perfect as what fans usually perceives. Besides, she cannot accommodate all her fans to have a picture with her—that would be ridiculous!

As fans, it is our duty to see through her and not just what’s on the exterior. Albeit we are not given a chance to have a one-on-one conversation with her but that should never hinder us from being there for her and defend her from all her bashers—with grace and class of course.

As a conclusion and as a message to Kaye, I hope that she would have a boost of confidence(like a sky-rocket *winks*) after seeing how her fans adulate and see her as an inspiration.

Kaye, you may not be ready for all the fame and impact the world awaits but it definitely is ready for you and to what you can offer.

*lovelots!*

4 MOST COMMON REASON YOU’RE SINGLE

Singlehood

A lot of women nowadays have been very blunt on how they abhor the fact that they are still SINGLE. If people would ask them the reason, remorse would definitely be evident on their faces.
Okay, so let’s face the fact that this is really a ‘big deal’, especially when you are already at the edge of the cliff (the calendar).
Though I have lots of friends who have decided to say ‘yes’ to their life sentence, there are still like me, who have always been the maid; either the bridesmaid or the maid of honor.
I am actually, like most of the women out there, oblivious of their age; It’s like a ticking time bomb!
But it would have been less of our concern if the media have not been feeding us with the “you-are-like-a-flower-as-you-age”, “you-are-like-a-dress-in-a-fancy-store”, and the list goes on and on. And oh, don’t forget the fact that you are surrounded by freaking “happy” couples! Definitely a way to inspire you to stay single, huh?
So here are the 4 most common reason why you are still single:
REASONS WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE
1. TOO HIGH STANDARD
“I want to marry or have a boyfriend that is intelligent, kind patient, understanding, family-oriented,hardworking, no vices, gentleman, sweet, tall, dark, handsome, who has 6-pack abs(like what women usually read from romance novel or movies I’ve watched), who would accept me for who I am and where I from and most especially, a man that is God-centered.
Does that sound familiar? Oh.. and don’t forget the bonus part: “a man that is rich or has a good and stable job”!

Wow! That sounds so perfect! Huh! Just kidding. That is actually insane and ridiculous! Where in the world can you find a man with the complete package?

Know what? I really think that having a standard in choosing the right man is okay. I mean it will be your guide in finding the right person, right? However, it isn’t healthy for you to assume that “your right man” have all the qualities mentioned. Let us be realistic and practical, please.
Your standard is your guidebook or map that you can check and take a look if you are heading towards the right path. It isn’t a blueprint that should be religiously followed so you won’t mess up.

Sometimes, these standards hinder us from finding THE ONE since we have been very busy looking for who we thought is the RIGHT ONE.

And when time comes that you are already in your thirties, you will realized that it is almost, if not too late since you let all the good man, even THE ONE, pass through your very eyes because of your so-called standard.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not encouraging you to just throw yourselves to every man you see on the street. You just have to open your eyes and your mind—be rational on your standards.

2. MOM AND DAD’S FAULT
When you are still a little girl, your parents have taken care of you like you are the most expensive and fragile gem in the world. That is why they always have a say on almost everything you do, say, and even who you should date or who could be your future mate.
You always think that the problem with your parents is that they are sometimes overprotective. Curfews ( meaning you have to be at home before 6 pm or 8), if someone wants to court you he should go over rigid interview at your house, so on and so forth.
You think that they always exaggerate on everything you do and say.
But let me tell you this, when they would see that you are already capable and worthy of their TRUST, they would let you decide and do things on your own.
You sometimes blame your parents for being outrageous in protecting you thus you remain single ‘til your 30-ish. However, you didn’t realize that it is YOU who can’t be trusted with your decision-making skills. You are usually impulsive and always want to prove something to the point of rebellion. You need to prove to them that you are already a grown-up so you can be entrusted in deciding who you should date as a prospective partner.

3. BEING A CAREER-DRIVEN WOMAN
You give importance to your career, above anything else. You have this mind-set that you should pursue your dreams first, your ambition and goals in life before entering in any serious relationship.
You live by the adage: “NEVER RUN FOR A BUS, TRAIN OR A MAN. WHEN ONE LEAVES, ANOTHER ARRIVES”.
I actually don’t think it is a bad idea. But please don’t be like those heroines in the romance novel you have been reading. That is so cliché! A career-driven woman who realized that she’s almost at the end of her season so she just threw herself to any man she sees and voila! It was Mr. Right!
There’s no such thing as that, so if you are an independent, career woman be ready to meet either beta men or be single all your life. Be ready for all the possibilities. You can’t be like Hannah Montana who’s got the best of both worlds, right?
4. NO CHOICE
A lot of women don’t have a choice but to be single since they either don’t have any suitors or they just don’t have that kind of appeal to attract the ‘bees’.
If that is the case, try to assess yourself. Are you palatable in their eyes? Or is it because of your attitude towards men that make them avoid you?
Again, don’t just throw yourself to some random guy just for the heck of it. Never ever settle for anything less than you deserve.
If it’s because of your looks, then try to look presentable. You don’t have to look sexy or show skin, just look presentable. Remember, ‘DRESS TO IMPRESS’?It wasn’t just when you’re looking for a job. You can also use that with your love life. Any man wouldn’t want to be with a filthy woman so try your best to always look decent.
On the other hand, if it’s because of your attitude or you have some bad habits then try to change for the better. Not just for any man but for yourself too. Remember that “WHILE MOST MEN ARE INITIALLY MOVED BY WHAT THEY SEE, HOW WE MAKE THEM FEEL INSIDE IS THE ATTRIBUTE THAT BINDS THEM TO US( Secret to a man’s Heart, Hammond).

 

I would have wanted to include the “IT IS MY CHOICE” part but decided not to. I mean, what else can I say if it is their “calling”, right?

The Courtesan a.k.a Mistress

A lot has been said and done about this but many people still haven’t got enough of this subject. I honestly don’t know where it all started but I can definitely tell you the huge success of the movies, t.v. dramas and even books regarding the “mistresses” is very alarming. And please..please..puh-leeze! Don’t tell me the “there is still a moral lesson of the story”, because I would definitely debunk those so-called lesson in life!
BUt before we move along in demystifying those ‘lessons’ and ‘reasons’, first let’s take a look at a very familiar and common story of a “mistress”.

*insert snide comment in here*: If you are the type of woman whose conscience can take it to be a mistress, just for the sake of money, then please move on to the next topic or better yet to another blog.
But if like me, you cannot and will never alow to themselves to become the third-party in a relationship, then please read along.

ELENA: THE USUAL MISTRESS

Elena was just an average looking girl when she was still in highschool. She was the eldest among the 4 siblings and was destined to be the breadwinner of their family. She never got to college because of financial issues, but since Elena is WISE and PRACTICAL(take note: I said wise and practical and not INTELLIGENT), she used her beautiful body and oozing self-confidence to attract men. Until the day came when she catched a BIG FISH! She underwent nose-lift, made her self like a very beautiful doll in the eyes of her friends and everybody who would see her. She went to travel a lot of places–locally and internationally and she would always post on her social media accounts all the places she went, the very sumptuous and expensive food she is eating and even the luxurious gifts her “boyfriend” gave her. The mystery there is, Elena never had one single picture with her extravagant and loving boyfriend; if she have though, his face is pixellated or covered with an emoticon.

Now, can you see where the problem takes place?

Elena, though maybe happy with the luxurious gifts and trips, is emotionally deteriorating. She maybe showered with material things by her boyfriend but she never have his SOLE ATTENTION and COMMITMENT. Also, he can never give her security and most especially peace of mind.

Elena is the type of mistress who would never have EMOTIONAL FULFILLMENT. And please don’t tell me “Oh, that’s okay, maybe she doesn’t love the guy anyway so she isn’t hurt every time he goes back to his life”! Come on gals! Didn’t you know that there is no such thing as a PLEASURE-SEX for women who have been with a man for 6 months onwards? Yes..that’s is true! Always remember this: EVERYTIME A WOMAN HAVE SEX WITH A MAN, SHE IS GIVING A PIECE OF HERSELF THAT SHE CAN NEVER EVER GET BACK!

Consider this scenario: A man is eating a lollipop, he peels off its cover(yep! that’s your clothes girls), and licks the candy(that’s your body!). Every lick and taste he gives the candy makes the latter thinner and thinner to its handle ’til nothing is left. Girls are just like that! Everytime a man gets on your undies, they gets something from you which (physically and emotionally) which you can never ever get back.You are like a lollipop!

Now, consider this line, “A mistress can only be called a mistress when there’s an emotional attachment.”

Yeah..you are correct in thinking that that is Ms. Anne Curtis’ line from the movie No Other Woman. Did you notice that at first she was just playing and having fun with the wonderful sex they’re having? But at he middle of the story she became gaga over Derrick Ramsey’s character because she have come to know him in a deeper manner, and of course don’t forget the wild and ravenous sex..Ha-Ha!

But if you can also remember that despite of all the guy’s concern for her, he even took care of her, plus all the sweet, mushy stuffs he did for her; he still left her for his wife! And that’s because according to him, HE LOVES HIS WIFE! Huh! What a wonderful way of showing how he loves his wife right?!

Maybe you might be asking..”Okay.. so where is this leading to?”

Okay..don’t kill the mood, bear with me girls..

Men’s nature was always to be “PAASA” and “HOPIA”(giving false hope). Whether intentional or not, they have the tendency to be sweet, caring and everything to a woman but only sees her as a FRIEND–a f******* FRIEND! That’s how the term FRIENDZONED became popular and became part of our lives okay? And trust me girls, this have been proven and tested!

So now, going back to Elena’s story, despite all the material gain from his boyfriend, she would always have this fear that one day he is going to leave her and either go back to his wife or find another more beautiful and fresh mistress. And our pitiful Elena is left alone–unhappy and broken. It would be up to her if she decided to move on, find the RIGHT MAN for her or again and again look for an already committed man ’til nothing is left of herself.

Consequently, the bigger problem any mistress would face is the struggle with themselves–guilt and conscience, that is. What if that married or committed man has kids? She didn’t only took away a HUSBAND but also a FATHER! Instead of sending his kids to prestigious schools, he sent them to the low-class ones since all, if not, most of his money were already given to her whims and caprices?

And fast forward to after 10, 20 and even 30 years from now? When you are already at old age, alone in the patio of your beautiful house, having coffee; everything would surely dawn on you. Regrets, eternal consequences; those are just some of the things you would have to battle on your own. (Since I presume that this time, YOUR MAN is already at his wife’s arms).

This is something that any woman should always think about before entering and engaging in such kind of relationship.

PHILIPPINES DETERIORATING MORALITY: PROMOTING INFIDELITY

I don’t want this to sound so cliché but this is really the sad REALITY. Mass and Social Media have a great influence and impact to the kind of lives we are living right now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against those two since I, myself had been very active on my social media accounts and is very fond of watching t.v and movies.

But let’s be blatant here, NO OTHER WOMAN, ANG DALAWANG MRS. REAL, THE LEGAL WIFE, MISTRESS, MY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE, and most recently is ETIQUETTE FOR MISTRESS have been blockbusters and captivated the hearts of millions of Filipinos all over the world and what is the theme of the said dramas and movies? INFIDILITY, ADULTERY, EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS, and UNFAITHFULNESS!

And oh please don’t tell me that those mentioned above also taught the ‘legal wives’ how to fight for their rights and what is legally theirs! Still, the general theme was..tadan..! I-N-F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y!

I was very disappointed with the movie ETIQUETTE, though I know that we should still know the two sides of the coin, still it wanted us to have a liberal mind and accept the different facets of being a mistress. It’s like they want to justify the actions of the mistresses; why they have to do it, why they do it, and the things that they have to sacrifice too so they’d be happy or help their families.

WTH? It was a choice they made when they dated an obvious married man and no one ever forced them to be in that kind of situation. What happened to the adage that says, “hard work is the key to success!”? Ahm..well..yeah..they are really HARDWORKING, in bed, I guess?

Don’t dare tell me the reason “you-will-never-understand-what-I-am-going-through-since-you-never-experienced-hardships-in-life” or “you-must-have-a-wonderful-childhood” because I will just roll my eyes at you. Life really isn’t easy. Each one of us has our own and personal cross that we carry everyday but having a relationship with a married and committed man is still a NO-NO! There are a lot of things that you can do to make yourself become a better person not just physically but also emotionally and financially. Don’t depend on some old, rich man’s money to help you achieve your dreams for you and your family. Making your family as an excuse is  very LOUSY and a lazy one too!

STAND UP AND WORK YOUR ASS UP AND STOP COMPLAINING HOW HARD IT IS TO ACHIEVE YOU DREAMS AND ACQUIRE THE THINGS YOU WANT AND NEED IN LIFE! STOP DREAMING AND ACT ON IT!

**photos credits to the owner**

“Debunking Love is a many Splendored Thing…”

This has been the most common and abused topic not just by famous books, blogs, and even bystanders in the street! Geez… What’s so famous about it? Love has been the most common theme of telenovelas/dramas here in the Philippines; the media has been bombarding us with things that would make us “fall in love”. But let me tell you this: I will never give you a “Love is a many splendored things” among other quotable quotes with this write-up. I am going to give you a piece of my mind: the brutal and sad REALITY on WHAT YOU SHOULD REALLY KNOW ABOUT LOVE!

ERRADICATING “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”!

Let us be blatant about this: Love is a choice! You cannot say that you fall in love with that certain person the very first time you set your eyes on him/her. Don’t be fooled by what fairytale books even romance novel says. There is a reason why they call it FICTION, so you’ll get the idea. Besides, that is actually called MARKETING STRATEGY thus the movie producers, screenwriters, and directors make dramas and movies we watch have a happy-ever-after lovestory or ending.

If you will notice(or if you will just try to open up your eyes and see) 80%-90% of movies and t.v. series and dramas has boy-meets-girl, business magnate fall in love with a nanny or a middle class woman plots. That is because people, especially women, tends to watch those instead of dramas which reflect their lives or the realities of life. They WANT to escape the reality and the hard-to-survive world and watch those kind of dramas to make themselves hope that MAYBE, someday, that would also happen to them!

According to INVICTUS, “you are the master of your soul and the captain of your fate” and that is definitely true! In my case, I chose to love not the person whom I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT but rather the person i CAN LIVE WITH. I mean, let’s be honest here, without all those mushy stuffs, a relationship would definitely survive if and only both of you can live without killing each other right?

WHAT ABOUT THE ADAGE THAT SAYS…?

A lot of definitions about love has been given, it has been one, if not the most abused word all over the planet.
Let’s take a look at some of the most NOTABLE ONES:

  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Okay, let’s face it. This kind of love never and will never exist on MERE HUMAN BEINGS. Paul, the author of the book of Corinth wasn’t exactly saying that that is the definition of love but the REPRESENTATION of God’s characteristics. Remember 1 JOHN 4:8, God is Love verse? When you would try to analyze it and replace the word love in the passage, it would state the characteristics of God and that’s because HE IS LOVE!

You can never find that kind of love to anyone. Maybe he is the most patient, the kindest and even the most understanding, however there would always be BUT’s.

I actully came from a Christian family, and everytime I would attend seminars, especially regarding TLW(TRUE LOVE WAITS seminars), the speaker would always mention the LOVE VERSE. And of course, I believe and never doubt that! It’s just that there should be a CLARRIFICATION: THE LOVE VERSE COULD BE YOUR BASIS IN FINDING THE RIGHT LOVE WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, it’s just that you can never have it all in one package. You can’t be that greedy, wanting to get all the good stuff! HA-ha-ha!

  • WHAT IS LOVE BUT ACCEPTANCE OF THE OTHER WHATEVER HE IS!

According to BRAINSPICKINGS, Nin’s wisdom on love knows no bounds(A Literate Passion), but come to think of this. That definition of love for me is a total BS! You can only call it love if you can accept whatever kind of person he is? What if he is an assasin? A member of a drug syndicate, worst, a drug lord? A terrorist who have been killing innocent lives just to fight for WHAT HE BELIEVES IS RIGHT? Can you still accept him as he is?

Again, we go back to our core argument that IT IS A CHOICE. You either choose to love that kind of person or not! And in making such decision, you will have to take into consideration your family in the future. What will happen to them? Will you become fugitives for all your life? How about your babies, your kids?

But..of course there is an exemption. If that person is willing to leave his past behind and build himself anew. *Insert SNIDE COMMENT here: BUt please don’t base your decisions on WATTPAD and romance novel you’ve read where the gangster, mafia boss and even a sadist, fall in love and changed his ways just for a simple girl! Argh…! Again, F-I-C-T-I-O-N!

On the other hand, his job is the least of your concern. How about if he has some ATTITUDE PROBLEM? Like he is the most IRRESPONSIBLE man you’ve ever met? “Irresponsible people seek to RELIEVE pressure through EXCUSES and FAULT FINDING. That’s why the irresponsible people NEVER CHANGE: It’s never their fault, they are not the ones who need to change. If you could change their parents, their teachers, their race, give them more money and so on, everything would be all right. Simply said, NOTHING IS EVER THEIR FAULT”. (Hammond, What Women Don’t KNow, and Men Won’t tell You). So can you accept that kind of person, living your everyday life, feeling MISERABLE since EVERYTHING WILL BE YOUR FAULT in his eyes? Hmm.. I don’t think so.

And what if he is a CHEATER?? Darn girl! Come on! I won’t give so much explanation with this because this has been a long time dilemma for us, girls! And please don’t give me the most BS excuse that “I-cannot-give-him-everything-he-needed, I-am-not-enough-for-him, it-was-all-my-fault”, because I would definitely strangle your neck! Grasp this adage from a man(Marlan Rico Lee): “Players are people who feed upon the ego you build for them putting them on a pedestal that they are worthy of excusing for anything they do to you. Once you forgive them it is only a matter of time before they do the same thing to you again. Of course they fill avoid in your life and they know this as they watch you for days finding out your weaknesses. Once they find out your weaknesses they prey upon them with no regard to how you feel in the process of them working you and another person.You see they need you to feed their egos as much as you need them to fill whatever void they do for you. See what you’ve got to realize and understand is when someone isn’t doing what you want them to do there is only one reason they don’t want to, and that is they DON’T respect you.” See??? A man cheating on a woman is his way of showing how LITTLE his respect for you!, worst, HE NEVER RESPECTS you and your essence as a woman! Besides, if he was able to do it, since you’ve just ‘forgive and forget’ about it, he would surely think that it would be okay to do it again since you would still accept him and his so-called-love.

IS THAT REALLY LOVE OR MARTYRDOM TO THE HIGHEST OF ALL LEVELS?

The things mentioned above were just some of the myths people have been blindly believing about LOVE. I hope that you would learn to think a million times over, if it is really love.

IT’S YOUR CHOICE!

*photo credits to owner*